It will be three months since I’ve “finished” my novel and after some time off, lots of reading and much soul searching–I will start the editing process TONIGHT. I’ve been through the gamut of emotions from “I will get this published” to “I will never be able to get this published” to “do I even know how to write?” and finally, “what the hell am I doing? I just wanna write.” When I was writing, I loved being immersed in a world I had created; and I really want to go back there.

I’m not going to lie, the Chicago Writer’s Conference spooked me. It was filled with people who have studied writing, had been writing and were centering their lives around writing. I didn’t know quite where I fit in to all of that. But I did know that I shared a passion for writing with all of them. It was nice being surrounded by people who understood what writing evokes and the process of it. Writing a story is only part of the process. Then there’s the editing, re-working plot lines and so on.

And that’s where I’m at. I’ve written, what I think is, an interesting and different story that I haven’t been able to find when I’ve looked for my next “read.” It does not fit in with the “norm” of a romance novel, which is what I like about it. The more I research, the more I feel like I would have to re-work plot lines to make it “fit” into something more marketable/publishable. And I don’t want to do that.

There are parts of my book which need work, and I admit that, but I’m going to stay true to my story and let whatever may happen, happen. I originally wrote the book for me and for my enjoyment; anything above and beyond that, is a bonus.

Tonight, I am going to sit down with my massive manuscript and start the process I have been avoiding for some time. I did need to take a step away from it, but now I need to go back. My laptop has been calling me, and my dreams have been laced with dialogue and vivid scenery from the many stories clanking around in my head.

When I was writing, I felt like a glass over brimming with an unending amount of water being poured into it. When I finished, I felt purged and light. Now…not so much. I feel more like my son’s drawer full of pants which contain pants that fit and don’t fit; yet I keep stuffing new pants in there. Time to purge.

I am both anxious and excited to be, once again, immersed and consumed.

See you on the flip side!

I’m going to my first writer’s conference this weekend in Chicago and am nervous, excited and maybe a little scared(!).  This will be the first time I’m going to be talking about my book with complete strangers who actually write.  I know I wrote a book and all, but…what constitutes a “writer”?  Or an “author”?  Is it when you get published, or when you receive payment for what you’ve written?  Or is it what’s in your heart?  (I’m going with the latter).

So, I’m going to take a deep breath, hold my head up high (but not too high) and attempt the delicate dance of networking with “people”, telling anyone who will listen about my book in “one to two sentences”..oh, and take in all that this conference has to offer.

No biggie…

After some serious brainstorming on the new idea I had for a new book, I’ve been able to put that on the back burner and focus on the sequel to the book I’ve written.  I’m very excited to have my characters back at the forefront of my head and am excited to be carrying around my notebook and pen everywhere I go.  I’ve plotted out the 2nd book and the main theme/ending to the third book in this intended trilogy and am bursting at the seams to talk about it with somebody, but of course…CAN’T!!  That is the most torturous part of writing…not being able to tell a soul about the excitement swirling around in my head!

I talked to a good friend of mine last night, who has self-published a book, and I feel completely grounded and at ease with the arduous journey ahead of me.  I will take it one day at a time and not let all of the stress of “publishing” cloud my writing…since that’s what I truly want to do.

I’m so excited to start this new journey of mine and am anxious to see where it takes me.