It will be three months since I’ve “finished” my novel and after some time off, lots of reading and much soul searching–I will start the editing process TONIGHT. I’ve been through the gamut of emotions from “I will get this published” to “I will never be able to get this published” to “do I even know how to write?” and finally, “what the hell am I doing? I just wanna write.” When I was writing, I loved being immersed in a world I had created; and I really want to go back there.
I’m not going to lie, the Chicago Writer’s Conference spooked me. It was filled with people who have studied writing, had been writing and were centering their lives around writing. I didn’t know quite where I fit in to all of that. But I did know that I shared a passion for writing with all of them. It was nice being surrounded by people who understood what writing evokes and the process of it. Writing a story is only part of the process. Then there’s the editing, re-working plot lines and so on.
And that’s where I’m at. I’ve written, what I think is, an interesting and different story that I haven’t been able to find when I’ve looked for my next “read.” It does not fit in with the “norm” of a romance novel, which is what I like about it. The more I research, the more I feel like I would have to re-work plot lines to make it “fit” into something more marketable/publishable. And I don’t want to do that.
There are parts of my book which need work, and I admit that, but I’m going to stay true to my story and let whatever may happen, happen. I originally wrote the book for me and for my enjoyment; anything above and beyond that, is a bonus.
Tonight, I am going to sit down with my massive manuscript and start the process I have been avoiding for some time. I did need to take a step away from it, but now I need to go back. My laptop has been calling me, and my dreams have been laced with dialogue and vivid scenery from the many stories clanking around in my head.
When I was writing, I felt like a glass over brimming with an unending amount of water being poured into it. When I finished, I felt purged and light. Now…not so much. I feel more like my son’s drawer full of pants which contain pants that fit and don’t fit; yet I keep stuffing new pants in there. Time to purge.
I am both anxious and excited to be, once again, immersed and consumed.
See you on the flip side!
Ann MacDonald 
It will happen for you, I just know it, your day will come, don’t give up your dream.
This post truly resonated with me. Like you, I’ve always had a passion for writing. Yet it’s only been recently, that I’ve entered into the literary world. Coming from a background in Fight Choreography (yes, you read that correctly Lol) I’ve found that at many writing conferences, I got many looks of bemusement and disapprovement from the “academic’s” that exist in the world of writing.
Personally, I think writing is a gift within you and one that is nurtured. You can have several “qualifications” in the field of writing, but they can never be a substitute for the passion and creativity that flows from the heart of a writer.
You sound like someone that has that passion, it resides deep in your heart. Stick with it, I’m confident you’ll make it. Let me know if I can help in any way.
This post truly resonated with me. Like you, I’ve always had a passion for writing. Yet it’s only been recently, that I’ve entered into the literary world. Coming from a background in Fight Choreography (yes, you read that correctly Lol) I’ve found that at many writing conferences, I got many looks of bemusement from the “academic’s” that exist in the world of writing.
Personally, I think writing is a gift within you and one that is nurtured. You can have several “qualifications” in the field of writing, but they can never be a substitute for the passion and creativity that flows from the heart of a writer.
You sound like someone that has that passion, it resides deep in your heart. Stick with it, I’m confident you’ll make it. Let me know if I can help in any way.